


Joys of the Parenthood - The Țepeș Edition

by Nordra



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-03-04 17:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13369647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nordra/pseuds/Nordra
Summary: Snippets of our favorite vampire-husband and his lovely wife. Featuring also their little halfbreed pain-in-the... ermm, son.And various monsters.Not in any particular order so Adrian's age changes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Teething Blues](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535945) by [zerotransfat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerotransfat/pseuds/zerotransfat). 



"WHERE IS HE?!!?"

"I DON’T KNOW AND STOP YELLING AT ME, MISTER!"

"I AM NOT YELLING!" Dracula shouted while peering underneath the large bed, making a mental note to order his servants to clean the years worth of dust from there. After they just find their son that is. While the Vampire King was searching from the floor, Lisa was busy checking the wardrobes, behind the curtains, every tiny nook and cranny where a tiny child could hide.

Adrian had taken a habit to hide from his parents every time they lost their guard for too long. It was already hard to find a small child in the castle full of hiding places, yet the worst part was that Adrian had recently learned to transform. 

Into a bat. That fit into even tinier spaces.

So the feared Lord of the Vampires and his Lady-wife where frantically turning their bedroom upside down in search of their elusive offspring, already gone through Adrian’s own room, Dracula's study and the sitting room. Just about a fraction of the whole damn castle.

"Please tell me you warded the windows, love," Lisa said from inside the wardrobe as she tossed clothing out. "Because I swear to God if your son flew out once more…!"

"Yes, I did ward them," Lord of the Night answered. "And why he is always MY son when this happens?"

"Maybe because it was you who passed that ability to him?"

"Oh sure," Dracula frowned, wiping the dust from his beard as he stood up. "Blame the vampire! I planned this alright: first get the lady pregnant, then make sure that little spawn inherits the shapeshifting abilities so that the mother loses her mind in few years. A master plan indeed!"

"Do not take that tone with me!"

"I don't have a tone!"

"Yes, you do!"

"You're delusional, woman!"

Poking her head from the wardrobe, Lisa glared at her immortal husband with eyes that were cold as the grave. That look could make even the most horrific monstrosities and demons run for their lives. "I will stake you in your sleep and stuff your mouth full of garlic, I swear!"

"Still won't affect me. Try again, dear," Dracula continued dusting his clothes before he flashed a grin. "You know, you do look quite becoming in homicidal rage..."

"Keep that up and the only intimacy you'll get for the rest of your immortal life is from your own hand! AND LOOK FOR YOUR SON!"

**"A-hem"**

Lord and Lady looked at the open doorway, seeing the familiar skeletal figure floating in there.

 **"My Lord. My Lady,"** Death rasped, adjusting the huge scythe hauled over his shoulder before he looked around the room. **"Something missing?"**

"Yes," Dracula hissed. "Certain little bat who's going to be sorry when I'll..."

Lisa smacked her husband on the shoulder. A feat as the vampire was so much taller than her. "Knock it off, doofus. We all know Adrian's got you wrapped around his finger."

Turning back towards the Reaper, Lisa sighed, "He has gone hiding again. Could you perhaps alert the nearby guards, Death?"

It was rather difficult to read the expressions on Death's face as he lacked the flesh, but at the moment he was definitely grinning. **"I do not think it would be necessary, My Lady... Certainly, the Prince is not far."**

Dracula groaned, "Old friend, knowing Adrian he can be on the other side the castle all the same."

**"Oh, I highly doubt that."** Death then glanced down at his robes. **"My Prince, you really should not cause so much stress to your parents."**

_Squeak!_

Both Lord and Lady looked at the Reaper, more pointedly at his midsection where the sound came. Death sighed and opened his robes with a bony hand.

"Oh for the love of...! Adrian Fahrenheit Țepeș! Get out of Death's ribcage, _now!_ " Dracula pressed a hand against his face, groaning.

Furry, tiny dark bat squeaked defiantly, too happy to hang from the ribs.

"I'm so sorry, Death," Lisa said to the Reaper. "Adrian, that is extremely rude! You can't climb inside peoples' torsos without permission!"

 **"Ah there's no harm done, My Lady,"** Death answered while Adrian once more started to climb up and down his spine, tiny claws digging in vertebrae. **"Actually, I think Prince got rid of a family of spiders that have been nesting in there for many generations."**

"Just how long he's been there?"

**"Honestly, I only noticed him about fifteen minutes ago. Could have been longer, though."**

Dracula stepped forward, peering between ribs at his tiny bat-formed son. "Adrian. Out. Now!"

Bat shook his head stubbornly, unwilling to leave his new playground.

"Fine then," Dracula lifted his hand and glanced at Death. "No offence, Death."

**"None taken, My Lord."**

Dracula put his hand over the ribcage and phased his hand through the bone, catching his son and turning him intangible too before pulling out.

Long clawed hand opened and lifted the tiny creature higher so he could look Adrian into the eye. "You are going to be the death of me someday, young man."

Lisa came beside her husband, giving their son a scolding look. "Adrian. Human form. _Now._ "

Small bat squeaked and flew from his father's palm to the ground before his form wavered and shifted. In few seconds, a young boy with golden hair was in bat's place, pouting.

"That was very rude of you, Adrian," Lisa repeated as she knelt down.

"...was playing," the boy muttered.

"Not good enough," his mother scolded. "Now apologize to Death."

Adrian shifted back and forth for a while before finally looking at the Reaper. "Sorry..."

Death actually chuckled, **"It is alright, My Prince. But perhaps I may make a request for the next time? You see, if you could scratch just between the fifth and sixth vertebra..."**

"Don't encourage him, Death," Dracula sighed.

 **"As you command, My Lord,"** Reaper grinned. **"By the way, Olrox has been requesting for an audience for this night."**

Vampire Lord groaned. "He can go stake himself for all I care. I have no desire to see his purple mug anytime soon."

**"Funny, that was exactly what I said to him."**

Meanwhile, Lisa was herding their unruly offspring towards the bathroom. It was well beyond his bedtime after all.

"And if you disappear again, you're grounded until your 100th birthday!" His mother hollered over her shoulder as she came back from the bathroom. Walking to a nearby chair she, in very un-ladylike manner threw herself in it.

"Dear Lord, that boy..." she groaned.

Dracula walked around the chair while Death floated off, resuming his duties. Dark Lord put his clawed hands on his wife's shoulder and started to rub them.

"Oh, that feels nice..." Lisa hummed, sighing in bliss. "Vlad, promise me one thing?"

"Yes?"

"We are not having a second child. NEVER."


	2. Chapter 2

"Dear, are you really sure about this?" Lisa glanced at her husband and their three-year-old son in Vampire Lord's arms. 

Adrian was constantly tugging at the chain of Dracula's cape until his father gently pried those fingers off before adjusting his hold on squirming child.

"Absolutely. Now shoo, go finish your project. We'll be fine. Right, Adrian?"

The dhampir answered by happily nibbling at the corner of his father's large collar with his newly grown fangs.

"See?" Dracula chuckled and patted his son gently on the head.

Lisa stayed silent for a moment before continuing, "But you have a council meeting tonight, do you not? Don't tell me you plan to bring Adrian along?"

"So? I see no problem," Dracula said. "Every council member has met him already and Adrian's bound to join the meetings sooner or later."

"I'd prefer later," Lisa frowned. "When he's capable to look after himself."

Dracula looked at his wife, furrowing his brows. "None of them would dare to harm our son, love. They know I would tear their pathetic souls to shreds if they laid a finger on Adrian intending to harm him."

"I meant his attention span," Lisa pointed at the toddler in vampire's arms who had abandoned Dracula's collar when his attention was drawn to older vampire's pointed ear and soon tiny fingers with sharp beginnings of nails dug into the flesh, tugging.

To Dracula's benefit, he did not even flinch no matter how hard the child pulled. Certainly with more strength that of a human child of the same age.

"You'll be sitting on your throne for hours and he can barely focus on one thing for a whole minute," Lisa continued. "Just how are you going to keep going through the meeting and Adrian's attempts to flee when he gets bored? Like just now?" Glancing at the said boy, she pointed out.

"Lisa. Dearest," Dracula huffed, offended by her words while wrapping arm across his offspring's middle, preventing the tiny dhampir from slipping away to adventuring. "Please do not tell me that you doubt my ability to simply look after my own child? I've lived for centuries and..."

"I know, I know," sighing at her dramatic husband, the human woman ran a hand through her blond locks. "Will you drop the theatrics already, you stupid old bat?" Finally smiling, she stepped forward and rose to her toes while reaching for the front of her husband's cloak and pulled him downwards. Dracula had to bend far down until their lips met in a quick, yet affectionate kiss. 

Little Adrian abandoned his tug o' war with the ear, waving his tiny arms towards Lisa while shouting, "Mama!"

Pulling from the kiss, Lisa chuckled. "Oh dear, did you want one too?" Planting a kiss on Adrian's forehead, she smoothed pale locks on her son's head before returned to look at his husband. "If you are sure he won't be a bother..."

"Lisa, we'll be fine. Stop worrying, love," Dracula cut her off. "Besides, I can always put Adrian on timeout in Death's ribcage."

"You better not to. He just might revolt."

"Not to brag but against a three-year-old..."

"I was referring to Death."

"Oh."

Lisa finally gave in and leaned forward to give a short hug to Adrian still in his father's arms. "You better be nice to your father, dear. I really don't want to hear him complaining about losing faces in front of the council." Leaning further, she whispered conspiratorially into their son's ear, "He can be such a drama queen sometimes."

"Hey!"

Smirking at the frowning vampire, Lisa winked at the immortal and turned to pick her notes and papers she needed in the laboratory. "The Witch Sisters informed that if needed, they can watch after our beloved hellion. Just so you know."

"Yes yes, I understand. If I fail to watch after my own flesh and blood, I'll call for the giggling, eternally teenage witches who insist on putting bows on their Prince's hair," Dracula deadpanned. "Remind me: why did I marry you again, woman?"

"Wondered that myself too. Personally, I think you were just plain mad," his wife answered. "Then again... I said yes so what does that make me?"

Huffing, Dracula herded his wife towards the door of their private wing, balancing Adrian in the crook of his arm. "Shoo already, lady."

"How rude," Lisa sniffed in offence but her mirthful expression ruined that. "Behave both of you and don't bring the throne room down." Finally, disappearing through the door, she left the vampire and the half-vampire together.

Dracula sighed and looked down at his son. "Your mother can be such a worrywart sometimes."

Adrian peered up the Dark Lord, golden eyes gleaming before being distracted by Dracula's cufflinks.

"Honestly, how difficult can it be?"

***

To tell the truth, not very difficult actually. 

Sure, Adrian grew bored quickly and tried to either escape his father's clutches or to draw elder's attention to himself. Both were unsuccessful endeavours.

"Is there anything anyone else wants to say?" Dracula's voice rang through the throne room, every leader and ruler of their respective monster-kinds stayed quiet. The matters needed to address in this meeting had been gone through already and none of the monsters dared address the peculiar sight of their Lord in this night.

To Dracula's credit, he did manage to look menacing even with his three-year-old son sitting on his lap.

Death let out an nearly audible snort as young Adrian once again tried to escape to adventuring, only to be stopped by his father pulling him back to the throne from the back of his shirt collar. Little dhampir grumbled and tried to kick Dracula in retaliation but the elder vampire went unfazed.

"If not, then I call this meeting -"

"Actually, my Lord. I have something to add."

Death could actually hear how his master cursed in his mind when the purple-skinned vampire stepped forward.

"Olrox. What is that you wish to say?"

The tall vampire gave a small bow to the Lord of Castlevania before straightening. "My Lord. I wished to address the several... incidents that have been going on lately in the Castle."

Dracula frowned, not following his fellow vampire's thoughts. "Incidents?"

"Yes, sir. The disturbances to nightly activities of the residents that hinder the normal routines," bald vampire turned his blood-red eyes towards the boy in Dracula's lap. "Caused by our... _beloved_ Prince."

Death frowned as much as the skeleton could and other monsters took a subtle step away from Olrox, knowing the vampire was approaching a dangerous territory.

And they were correct to be wary, as Dracula's eyes narrowed and when he spoke, a hint of fang could be seen. "Is that so? I was unaware that Adrian's... _escapades_ had caused so much grief."

Adrian had a habit to escape and roam around the Castle, getting in all sorts of situations. Sometimes at the expense of the monsters residing within the walls. 

"I would not say grief, my Lord," Olrox swiftly retorded. "But I'm concerned not only for the morality of your subjects. I'm also worried about the safety of your son. Surely, the Castle is not the best place for a child of his age." Olrox stopped for the moment before muttering, "Especially for the one with human blood..."

"Olrox..." Dracula began, crimson eyes gaining a subtle glow in them. But he was cut off by a deep, rough voice of the werewolf alpha.

"Oh stop spewing shit, baldy," ashen-grey werewolf with a body littered with scars waved his tail. "Before speaking for everyone in the Castle, how about asking if we share your view, eh?"

Olrox, clearly dismayed that he was confronted by a werewolf, sneered at the beast, "You say that Prince's antics have not disturbed your clan and their duties, Grimmane?"

Werewolf shrugged, "Sure, they have. But," he continued before Olrox could do more than open his mouth. "None of my subjects has anything negative to say about it and no harms been done."

"Actually," Grimmane turned towards the throne, addressing Dracula. "I was planning to make this request later but since the purple beanpole here brought it up... My Lord, the females have been pestering me with asking if our young Prince might visit us more often. Even the cubs are anxious to see him again."

Dracula pondered in silence. This was the first time someone of his underlings had actually asked for Adrian's presence. He and Lisa had been wary of letting their son mingle too much with the Castle's residents without the watchful eyes of either of them. Dracula's son or not, there still was the fact that Adrian was a half-human and there could be some people who did not take too kindly for a halfbreed roaming around.

"You would actually invite even more disarray among your clan, Grimmane?" Olrox hissed.

"Cubs like the Prince. Females, too. I see no problem," Grimmane answered lazily, scratching himself behind the ear.

"And just how would you guarantee his safety?"

"My, what a concern you have, dear Olrox. You barely ever slither out of your quarters and yet our young Lord's well-being is _so_ important to you!"

A scantily-clad succubus adjusted her dark wings while seemingly examining her long nails before continuing with a silky, sarcastic voice, "Such a sympathetic thing you are..."

The merman next to her snorted.

"Since no-one else here seems to take the matter seriously..." Olrox snarled but the succubus, Liliana cut him off.

"Oh, we do in fact. But the truth is that none of us has any issues with our adventurous Prince," Liliana flicked her hair. "None but you."

Olrox spluttered but the succubus did not let him speak. "Which is funny since you truly wander out of your corner rarely and I doubt that Prince Adrian has made it into your quarters. My, even one of us can barely get in!"

"My apologies that I appreciate privacy and do not enjoy your shrilling voice, Liliana," Olrox's voice was dripping with venom.

"Your loss," succubus said. "But you have yet to say just why are you so concerned about the rest of us."

"I do not need to explain myself to you, you rancid whore...!"

"Enough."

Dracula's voice cut the bickering duo apart. Liliana curtsied and stepped back while Olrox turned his attention back to the Vampire Lord. "Grimmane, I will take your request into consideration. I need my wife's opinion before making my decision."

"I thank you, My Lord," werewolf bowed his head as Olrox scoffed at the mention of Lisa.

"Also Olrox," Dracula turned his crimson eyes bore into the tall vampire. "Though the issues of your concern seems to have been settled by your fellows, I'm a gracious lord. So I'm willing to listen what ideas you might have to... correct these _incidents_."

The veiled threat in Dracula's voice was as loud as a booming thunder and Olrox actually hesitated for the moment. In the end, he stilled himself and stood with head held high, facing the Dracula.

"My Lord," he began. "Even if I was incorrect about the influence of your son's... adventures... I still think that maybe the Castle is not the most proper place for a young child. Or his mother. Though it pains me, I feel that I need to question the decisions to keep them both here."

Other monsters exchanged looks behind Olrox's back. So he was doing this again. A silent challenge to the Vampire Lord yet too subtle to Dracula to reprimand him for it. It was not a secret to anyone that Olrox detested Dracula and wished nothing more than usurping his place as the ruler of Castlevania. For long he had stayed down but with Dracula's recent actions of not only taking a mortal wife but also siring a half-blooded son...

Using their Lord's wife and child as means to erode Dracula's authority... Olrox was threading on a thin ice indeed.

"You question my decision to house the woman I wed and the son of my own blood?" Dracula asked, eyes gaining a subtle crimson glow in them.

"Forgive me but yes I do. Despite the assuring of my fellows, the fact is that Castlevania is not a place for mortals, my Lord. Accidents... may happen."

"Yeah, we know by whom..." Grimmane muttered.

"Olrox," Dracula snarled, fed up with this upstart. "You overstep your position. Both Lisa and Adrian will stay in here, their home. That is not for the debate. And like I told my wife earlier tonight, if even one of your ever thinks about laying a hand on Adrian, or Lisa, their punishment will be far worse than anything you could comprehend!"

"Mark my words, you'd be begging for a help from _God_ if it comes to that!"

Olrox shivered at the face of the unadulterated darkness reeling from Dracula but held his ground, barely. "You insist to keep that bastard and harlot here?!"

"Insolent-!"

Dracula had no change to retaliate as the sudden vampiric hissing filled the throne room and all the eyes turned towards the sound.

That came from the tiny dhampir still sitting on Dracula's lap.

 **"My..."** Death muttered as they watched little Adrian glaring at Olrox with his fangs bared, angry hissing coming off him. Normally golden eyes had a hint of crimson glow in them as he snarled towards the older vampire. The sound was far from the monstrous quality that his father produced but it was still effective.

Olrox had taken a step back, shocked by tiny halfbreed's actions.

Seeing how his opponent backed away, Adrian seemingly grew satisfied and returned to his usual self, the red tint disappearing from his eyes.

Looking over his shoulder, Adrian looked up at Dracula, golden eyes shining and beaming. He grinned as if asking _Did I do well?_

Dracula himself stared down at his young child, red eyes wide. This... He could not even comprehend what just happened.

Adrian, the sweet and kind three-year-old half-human boy had just made a vampiric equilevant of "back off or I'll tear out your entrails." To a much older full-blooded vampire.

Dracula had never felt more proud in his long life.

A howling laughter echoed from the walls, as Grimmane barked, "Our Prince has a _bite_!"

"Oh my, that was downright splendid!" Liliana giggled and the merman leader next to her let out gurgling chuckles.

Olrox had become pale, humiliated by being essentially forced into a submission by a halfbreed and becoming a laughing stock for the rest of the monsters in the room.

 **"Alright, I think that this council is adjourned,"** Death said after he gotten his own snickers in control as he floated to the foot of the dais. **"The werewolf clan will be contacted later regarding the issue Grimmane brought up. We will gather again in next full moon."**

 **"Though Olrox,"** Death said, fixing his eyeless gaze on the vampire. **"There will be consequences for your words later."**

The bald vampire grimaced before disappearing into the mist while Death looked over his shoulder, towards the throne where the feared Vampire Lord was too busy trying to crush his son in a bear hug while Adrian was puzzled just why his father was crying tears of blood.

**"It might take a while, however."**


	3. Chapter 3

Sighing, Lisa adjusted her position on the chair. Her back was killing her. Placing a hand on her round stomach, the blond woman smiled, humming. "Not to hurry you, darling but you're really starting to be a handful. ...Really taking after your father." Glancing out of the window, Lisa noticed that the sun was still rather high in the sky. Moving the book she had been reading on the side table, she thought about getting a cup of tea, though she was not looking forward a walk to the castle kitchens. Of course, she could call for any of her husband's servants, but...

Lisa was of common birth. Used to do things and menial tasks on her own. Suddenly elevated into a position of a Lady, she had a hard time to adjust to having people ready to help her. Even if they were monsters. Vlad would probably get her tea in an instant if she asked, but her vampiric husband was still in his day-rest. 

Well... The tea was not going to get itself, anyway. 

Lisa began to push herself up from the chair when the clattering of the porcelain interrupted her. The door into the sitting room was pushed open with an ornate wooden leg and a small round table with a set of finest china on top of it made it's way inside. Four individual legs moved independently, skittering over the carpet and stopping next to the chair.

There was a fresh batch of scones on the plate, right next to the pot, the steam rising from the spout. The scent told Lisa that inside the pot was her favourite bland of a herbal tea. The table shook itself slightly, clearly offering its bringing to the woman.

Covering her mouth with a hand, Lisa sat back down, chuckling. Of course, she had been wrong.

"Well, thank you very much," she smiled and moved the china from the living table to the one other side the chair, next to her book. "You don't need to stand here all the time, though."

Table slightly tilted itself, as if perplexed. It was so adorable, that she gently pet the wooden surface. "You're very kind. But I'll manage from here."

The table shook when she pet it and if it could speak, the living furniture would have probably squealed in delight. It turned and skipped joyfully out of the room.

Smiling, Lisa poured herself some tea. A few years ago, she would have been shocked to see the moving furniture along with everything else but now... Looks like the Castle liked her.

Lisa had just taken the first bite of the scone when there was a knock on the door. Swallowing and quickly wiping her mouth with the napkin, she looked towards the door. "Yes? Please come in."

The door opened and Lisa was greeted with probably the last creature she could have anticipated.

Shifting her leathered bat-like wings, the succubus curtsied, her slim tail swinging behind her. "Mistress. Hopefully, I am not intruding?"

"Erm, of course not," Lisa answered, perplexed the sudden appearance of the scantily-clad lust demoness. "Liliana, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Mistress," the leader of the Succubi smiled, her fangs flashing.

"I'm sorry for being rude but," Lisa began. "is there something you need? The Lord is still sleeping."

"Oh no no," Liliana waved her hands. "There's no need for the Master. I just... umm..." Finally finding the right words, the succubus continued. "I and my girls, we have been very curious about our Lord's beloved Lady. About the person who practically swiped his feet from under him."

Lisa's cheeks suddenly grew warmer. "I did no such thing..."

"Oh, you most certainly did," Liliana said. "And that stunt a few months back in the Throne Room? Quite a spectacle!"

"Well, he deserved that," the human said before assessing the situation. So, the succubus wanted to socialize? Alright, Lisa could do that. Vlad had been subtly trying to get her involved in the castle life, after all. Might as well try.

Lisa gestured towards the teacups. "Join me?"

***

"And then Corinne and Shana ended up both stuck in the cavern with the merman they both pursued!"

Lisa was laughing, a hand slapped over her mouth while Liliana giggled.

They had somehow moved the topic of their chat from Lisa to the gossip about the castle's residents. The succubus was a surprisingly enjoyable company, considering that she was a demon of lust.

"Wasn't he annoyed for being played?" Lisa wiped her eyes and reached to pour herself a fresh cup of tea.

"At first, yes but honestly, he quickly decided that the outcome was worth of it... - Are you alright, Mistress?"

Lisa had stopped as the child inside her moved, accidentally pressing against her bladder. Huffing, she put a hand on her stomach. "Yes... The little one is beginning to make itself known more and more."

Liliana tilted her head, black eyes regarding the human with interest and a small amount of wonder. "Mistress? If I may... What is it like?"

"Hm?" Lisa settled back to a chair.

"Carrying a child inside you, I mean."

"Oh, umm..." Lowering the teacup from her lips, Lisa pondered. Maybe Liliana was thinking about differences between her race and Lisa's? "I could describe it scientifically but it may be little off... How about you tell about the succubi pregnancy and we can compare -" Lisa stopped when she realized that Liliana was fidgeting. "Is... everything alright?"

"Ah, yes. It's just..." the succubus bit her lip with sharp teeth.

Lisa tilted her head when observing the demoness before Liliana finally sighed. "My apologies, Mistress. I was curious because... well, what you're going through is something my kind does not experience."

Human woman blinked. "You mean -?"

"The succubi, or the incubi, do not breed through carrying an offspring inside us."

"Oh." Lisa did not actually know how to react to that. She honestly had never thought about how different monsters came to be. Sure, she knew that humans could be turned into variable creatures either by curses, by other monsters or by their own wicked deeds. Knowing this might be an awkward subject but unable to quell her scientific curiosity, she hummed and put her teacup down. "It is rather difficult to explain it but I'll try."

"The child begins to grow after the impregnation within mother's womb, gaining nutrients and oxygen through the umbilical cord that attaches the child to mother."

Liliana's eyes widened. "So it's like a parasite?!"

"What? No!" Lisa quickly denied. "No, wait... I guess you could say that, in some way. But it is not actually a one."

"But if it feeds on the mother..."

"Its necessary for the child to grow inside the mother enough before being born. That is how it is with every mammal. Our young would be unable to survive in the world if they did not mature enough firstly."

Liliana tilted her head, long, dark burgundy hair shimmering. "I have to admit that scientific parts still elude me, Mistress. If I may, how does it actually feel to carry another living being inside you? What is it like to be a mother?"

Lisa thought for a moment, moving a hand over her belly before smiling tenderly. "It is quite exhilarating, incredible and terrifying feeling. Knowing that the only thing that keeps the child healthy is you and you are responsible for everything... It frightens me often yet the same knowledge that this my child, part of my very being and a product of something as wondrous as love fills me with joy."

Lifting her head, the human smiled to the succubus, winking. "I have no experience for carrying a full-blooded human child but between the two of us, I doubt this one would create this much hassle already if _he_ wasn't the father."

Burying her snickering mouth behind a long-nailed hand, Liliana tried to suppress her giggles, not wanting to seem like she laughing at the expense of the Lord of the Castle. Which she was doing.

Lisa outright laughed, only living being that could do that without fearing a retaliation from Dracula. Calming down, it was her turn to ask. "Liliana? Can I ask... How does your race breed? I honestly thought that the succubi and the incubi could... You know..."

The succubus wiped few tears out of her eyes before calming down. Tapping her chin with a sharp nail, she answered. "Its a common mistake among mortals. We are actually two different races, similar in some aspects yet unable to breed with each other. Like the werewolves and the wargs."

"We are both born out of the sexual energies of the mortals we seduce," she continued, glancing at the human to make sure she was not uncomfortable with this kind of conversation. "We feed on that energy but if enough is collected, we can.. 'shape' a new demon out of it. There's no such thing as infancy or children. The titles like 'mother' or 'father' do not exist among us."

"Interesting," Lisa hummed. "But that makes you wonder; if you need a succubus or incubus to make another, how did the first ones came to be? Who made them?"

"They made themselves, actually," Liliana said. "As far as I know, A group of mortals... indulged themselves in the pleasures of the flesh in a hallowed ground. The lustful energy that was emitted in such place drew in the powers of chaos, joining to them, gaining awareness and the first ones emerged into the world."

"Born of sin," Lisa said.

"Does... this make you uncomfortable, Mistress?"

"No no," she assured. "Though I believe in Him, I'm also a woman of reason." She smiled to the demoness. "I am not so easily intimidated, you know."

Liliana sighed in relief. She would have probably been in trouble if she'd insulted or frightened the Lady. Her Lord was not exactly the most forgiving type...

Two women sat in silence for a while before Lisa winced as the child inside her reminded of its presence. "Oww... This one's _really_ Vlad's child, alright. As handful as him."

Liliana watched in silence as Lisa caressed her belly. "Mistress? Can I...?" She gestured vaguely towards the human's round belly.

Catching on what the demoness was referring to, Lisa nodded while smiling and settled back to the chair.

Liliana perked up and stood, standing next to her Lady's chair. Carefully she lifted her hand on the human's stomach, mindful of her sharp nails. And with that moment, the little hellion again announced itself. The look on the demoness' face was priceless as the child kicked. Her face filled with wonder and something close to exhilaration. "By the Darkness, that's incredible!"

Lisa chuckled as Liliana's thin tail started to wag and large wings twitched. Looks like the demon of lust had a soft spot for babies, who would have guessed?

Dark eyes sparkling, Liliana looked at Lisa, hands clasped together and barely containing her excitement. "Other girls are going to be so jealous when they hear about this! Oh, I know; could I bring them along with me?"

"Err... Others as in -"

"Other succubi, of course! They'd really love to meet you personally as well! The heir too!"

Taken back by the succubus' sudden hyper-happy attitude, Lisa tripped over her words. "Umm, I guess... it's alright..."

"Great!" The succubus jumped into the air without even flapping her wings. "I'll go gather them right away!"

"W-wait!" Lisa began but Liliana had already vanished out of the sight. "Oh dear, what did I just got involved with?"

***

The moon had finally risen, chasing away the sun as Dracula emerged from his slumber. Materializing out of his coffin, the Vampire Lord was relieved that Death was not waiting for him. So the day was peaceful.

Stretching his mind across the Castle, Dracula picked quickly to whereabouts of his beautiful wife. Smiling, the vampire turned into the mist, moving through the ancient stone.

Carrying their child had affected Lisa's sleeping habits. She slept late into the morning and stayed up easily to the midnight, sometimes even later. Providing the vampire with a perfect opportunity to lavish his beloved with love and care while not feeling so damn tired that he might fall to his face. Dracula used every opportunity to make Lisa comfortable and relaxed. After all, stress was bad for the baby.

Looking properly, you could see the disembodied mist grinning at the mere thought of his child and the idea of being a father. Oh, how he could not wait for the child to be born!

Reaching the corridor that led to the sitting room, The Lord of the Castle once again took an actual shape, already walking onwards. But suddenly the vampire stopped as his keen ears detected multiple voices coming from the room on his right. One was Lisa while the others... Wait a moment; the succubi?

Frowning, Dracula pushed the door open. And froze on his place.

"Shana! Move aside! It's my turn!"

"Ow, don't yank my hair, bitch!"

Lisa sighed. "Alright, alright. One at the time, please..."

"Yes, Mistress!"

Liliana's voice rang out. "Do not overwhelm the Lady! And keep your voices in control!"

"Mera, look at this! I think I finally got the hang of this 'sewing'."

"Aww, how cute! But isn't that a girls' dress? You can't know if it's a girl."

"I just think that it is. But I made other in case it's a boy. Look!"

"That looks just like our Lord's cape! So adorable!"

"I made this bat plushie for the baby!"

"Aaw!"

"By the Dark! Girls! The baby kicked!"

"No way!"

_*insane squealing*_

"Move it!"

"I want to feel too!"

Dracula closed the door, turned and walked away. And he was not running, alright? Just walking. Swiftly.

No.

There are just things which even an immortal Vampire Lord cannot deal with.

Like a room full of half-naked, baby-crazy succubi cooing along with oohing and aahing over Lisa and their unborn child. With baby clothes and toys the demons apparently made themselves.

Nope. He'd rather face an army of Belmonts. 

...Where the Hell is one when you actually needed them?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... The succubi who are crazy for babies... Yep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mandatory "breaking the news" -story. Also the incident mentioned in earlier chapter is now explained.

"Alright, Lisa. Breath. In and out." The fair-haired woman gave herself a pep talk. She could do this. Just enter the Throne Room, walk up to her idiotic husband and tell him. While surrounded by monsters.

...That sounds easier said than done.

Argh, if only that stupid vampire sat down maybe for a minute or two so Lisa could bring him the news in private but no. Vlad had to be busy right now!

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighed. No, that's unfair. It was not her husband fault that the Castle was full of hustle now that they were preparing for the coming winter. The Vampire Lord had been forced to spend every night away from their personal quarters, barely having time to greet and give his wife a quick kiss when the sun had set before Death had already dragged him away.

Lisa wasn't complaining about that, nor was she disappointed that their private time was practically non-existent these days. It would pass when the work was over and the first snow has fallen but right now there was one little detail that demanded immediate attention.

Lisa was expecting.

She knew the symptoms, having seen them countless times in her hometown but still she could not believe when those began, thinking at first that she was becoming ill or had eaten something foul. But being a woman of science, she diagnosed the true cause, as hard to believe as it was.

A child. She was pregnant, with Vlad's child.

How was that possible, anyway? Her husband was, well, UNDEAD. How could a vampire and a human conceive a child together?

As the first shocks faded, Lisa finally realized it: she was going to be a mother. Breaking down in the alchemy lab, she had sobbed in joy, hand over her stomach as if to feel the baby even if it was too early. Crying for the sheer miracle. Hers and Vlad's child.

She needed to tell her husband.

But the vampire had no time to sit down, hastily apologizing and disappearing into thin air before Lisa barely managed to open her mouth. It had been so for a whole week and Lisa was at the end of her patience. 

Hence this approach.

There was one place where she could get the vampire to stay on his arse for long enough; the Throne Room. It was where Vlad was directing monsters, giving orders and listening reports every night. And granting audiences for everyone in the Castle who sought it.

And that was Lisa's only change if she wanted her husband to hear anytime soon that he was going to be a father.

Approaching the large twin doors at the end of the grand corridor, she got the salute from two skeletons standing on either side of the doors with spears in their bony limbs. "My Lady," one on the right rattled. "Suprised to see you up this late. How fare you?"

"I'm well, thank you. I take it that our Lord is still inside?" The doors were thick and let almost no sound through them, making the corridor silent as death. "May I enter?"

"Of course, My Lady." They bowed and tapped the ground with spears, causing the heavy doors to slowly open, rumbling and creaking. The waves of tumult burst out, nearly physically making her stumble.

Stepping in, she could only stare. Well, it was no wonder Vlad was so busy.

The entire Throne Room was in chaos. Literally. Countless of different creatures were running, flying, floating, crawling or even rolling around, seemingly without a destination and the cacophony of not just shouting but more bestial sounds filled the remaining air. 

The doors closing in behind her, Lisa could only stand and watch the chaos unfolding before her.

"The Colosseum is already full! Where the hell you do think that I'll find room for the Wargs?!"

"Toss those bone piles away! And can't the White Dragons go to the entrance? They are all bones! Not like they feel cold!"

"Go snuggle Cerberus if you want warmth!"

"Our waterways are freezing! Can't we move to Underground Caverns already?"

"Stop complaining!"

"Ease for you to say! You live in the Catacombs!"

"I hope you die!"

"Your mother sleeps with a Belmont!"

"IF I SAY THEY MOVE TO THE CLOCK TOWER, THEY'LL GODDAMMIT MOVE THERE!!"

Her husband's voice rolled over the rest of the voices, as the black-feather-covered Malphas hastily ran away from the front of the throne where he had been kneeling down. Sitting on the great throne, Dracula buried his face in his hands, as he leaned forward, elbows against his knees. Next to him, Death lowered the scroll he had been scribbling into, seemingly saying something to the Lord. But the Reaper's voice was lost in the commotion.

Feeling sympathetic for her love, Lisa began to approach the throne, creatures noticing her as she passed them and making way for her, curious about why their esteemed Lady was here. Neither Dracula or Death had yet noticed her when she was about twenty feet from the first step of the dais. Suddenly, one of the fairies near the Reaper let out a bell-like sound as it noticed the human, making Death to turn and see her standing before them.

 **"My Lady,"** the Reaper rasped. **"Good night to you."**

"You as well," Lisa answered as Dracula's head shot up, hearing his wife's voice.

Vampire's crimson eyes widened. "Lisa? What are you doing here?"

She smiled quickly before adopting a serious look and curtsying, "I humbly request for a moment of your time, My Lord."

Dracula looked flabbergasted at that while Death tilted his head, looking curious. "Lisa, love. What is -?"

Interrupting her husband, she crossed her arms, now giving the vampire a stern glare. "I have something to tell you, husband. And since you keep flying from here to there constantly, I, as the resident of the Castle, hereby request an audience with it's Lord."

Sensing that he was in trouble and his wife in a foul mood, Dracula suddenly turned into mist, reappearing before the human woman. Looking slightly panicked, the vampire took Lisa's hands between his own larger ones. "Beloved, whatever it is I'm sorry! I know I've been busy -"

"I know. It is not that. I-"

"I swear I'll make it up to you when -"

"Vlad, stop it. I'm trying -"

"We'll take a vacation. Maybe even off the country?"

"Listen, I'm -"

Every occupant in the room was watching this conversation going back and forth, the earlier racket toning down into semi-noisy murmuring and chattering.

"Death can handle the rest, I mean I'm this closeto just eviscerate everyone -"

"That's nice but Vlad -"

"We could travel by foot like you suggested -"

"Husband -!"

"Although, it really depends on the terrain -"

"I'M PREGNANT!!!"

Well, look at that. A Throne Room full of monsters _can_ fall absolutely silent. Alright, one of the skeletons did drop his jaw. Literally. The clattering echoed through the room.

Dracula had turned pale. Err, paler than usual. "Y-you're _w-what?"_

"Pregnant, my love. I'm expecting a child."

The dreaded Vampire Lord of Wallachia made quite a show imitating a fish as his blood-red eyes moved from her face down her belly and back. "A c-child?! H-how?"

"I think we all know the basics," Lisa deadpanned. "But just how in this particular case; you tell me."

Dracula swallowed, his throat feeling parched like he hadn't got a drink for aeons. "It's mine?"

Oh Lord, why was her husband so thickheaded sometimes? "No," Lisa pinched her nose. "I've been having an affair with Olrox. Just thought that you'd like to know."

Somewhere in the room, you could hear how a certain vampire choked and yelped as he also apparently bit into his own tongue. Serves the guy right. Lisa never liked him, anyway.

"I-I'm going to be a father...?"

Smiling, Lisa nodded watching as the crimson eyes widened and then...

_THUD_

"Oh dear." She covered her mouth, not sure if to laugh or to be in shock as her vampiric husband lay on the floor on his back.

He fainted. The terrible Lord Dracula of Castlevania fainted.

 **"My, how inconvenient,"** Death rasped as he floated next to the couple shaking his head. He then turned to look at Lisa, **"Congratulations My Lady; for both the child and this,"** he poked the unconscious vampire with his scythe. **"No-one has ever incapacitated our Lord this fast."**

"...Should we give him blood? Would that wake him up?"

 **"I think more... drastic measures are needed,"** the Reaper looked over his shoulder. **"Someone, fetch the holy water. A bucket-full, please."**

***

"Are you sure you're well, dear?" Dracula asked his wife as they had settled in the sitting room in their quarters. The burn marks on his face were slowly fading but his dark hair still smoked for a little bit. "Can I get you something to eat, maybe? A pillow? Book?"

Lisa had taken a seat at the corner of the sofa, lifting her legs and folding them as she leaned against the armrest with an elbow. "Stop it, Vlad. You're wearing down the carpet."

Noticing that he had indeed been pacing, the vampire stopped, his black cloak falling over the coat now that he was not twirling around. Immortal fidgeted on his place and Lisa took pity on him, lifting her hand towards the vampire. Taking it in his clawed one, Dracula let the petit woman pull him closer. Kneeling down in front of her, Dracula's eyes were still almost as high as hers. Tenderly, Lisa brought her other hand up, to run it over the vampire's cheek and hair.

Eyes closing, he leaned into the touch, entwining fingers with hers as hands they held lay on her lap. "We're going to be parents..."

"I know," Lisa whispered. "It's scary, isn't it?" she said softly after a while. "To know it is up to you to raise the child. Scary, but also exciting."

"Love," Dracula raised their joined hand, pressing a kiss on the ring in her finger. "If you can tame the Castle full of hellish beasts, you can handle a child as well."

"I do not know," the corner of her lips twitched, an impish grin threatening to emerge. "It is _your_ child after all. I can only tolerate so many overdramatic vampires in my life."

Her husband shot her an unamused stare which caused her to break into a laughter before Dracula also chuckled. Leaning forward and pulling her hand free, she pressed their lips together as he wrapped his arms around her middle. The kiss was slow, sensual as they took their time. But unlike him, Lisa needed to breathe every once a while.

As they pulled away, Dracula once again glanced at her belly. "Beloved, may I?"

"It's little too early," Lisa said but moved little closer anyway.

"Still," the vampire said as he placed his pointed ear against her belly and as Lisa softly moved her fingers through the vampire's midnight black hair, he imagined how there would soon be a sound to hear. The sound of his child. Their child.

Soon, they would have a family.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this will be a short one.

_"VLAD DRACULA ȚEPEȘ!!! I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU, YOU THRICE-DAMNED, BLOODSUCKING WINGED RAT!!!"_

Dracula swore that his damn castle shook by the force of that scream as the pieces of mortar fell on his hair, dusting it white. This had been going on for a few hours already and if it kept going any longer, the place would be in rubble when it was all over. Along with the vampire's sanity.

"Do not worry, my Lord. That is purely normal for a delive -" The half-spider and half-woman maid rushed past her Lord towards the chambers where their Lady currently was, getting cut off by Lisa's next screech.

_"I'LL TEAR OUT YOUR FANGS WITH RUSTY PINCERS!!! I POUR HOLY WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!"_

"Normal!?! She's out for blood! MY blood!" the vampire flinched as Lisa's shouting hurt his sensitive ears while the maid closed the door behind her, leaving the vampire outside.

 **"Look at this way, Master: she finds comfort from thinking about you,"** Death calmly spoke beside his Lord.

_"I'LL NAIL YOUR TESTICLES ON THE CROSS!!!"_

"'Comfort!?'" Dracula eyed the door with a healthy dose of fear. "I've faced less violence from Belmonts!"

**"Although this is not my area of expertise, I'd wager Lady Lisa won't even remember all the things she's currently saying after the ordeal is over."**

"I will. I'm going remember for eternity how my wife threatened to mutilate me with rusty tools..."

 **"Not to mention 'disembowelling with a teaspoon'-threat from last month,"** the Reaper reminded, inwardly grinning at the memory.

"Death."

**"Yes, my Lord?"**

"You're a dear friend and my most trusted servant. But if you do not shut your jabbering jaws now, I swear I'll find a way to destroy you for good."

***

About three hours later (and several fistfuls of his hair along with twenty tankards of warm blood laced with chamomille) Dracula looked up when the door to their bedchamber finally opened. The arachnid maid stepped out, carrying an armful of dirty bedsheets stinking of blood. She bowed to her Lord and the Reaper, twelve pupilless eyes closing. "You may enter, my Lord."

Dracula swallowed. "Lisa. Is she -?"

"Lady is well, Master. Tired, but quite healthy," the maid said before smiling. "As is the child."

Sighing in relief, the Lord of Darkness walked past the maid, pulling the door open properly and stepping in.

The bedchamber was quite literally fit for the royalty. Carpets made from yarn imported from distant lands and wooden furniture of the best mahogany Wallachia had to offer with the finest crystalware sitting on the top of one table. Chandeliers and candelabras made from pure gold and silver. Rich paintings with vibrant colours hang on the walls. All surrounded the king-sized four-poster bed with deep red curtains, the shadows and light dancing along the fabric's surface thanks to the fire burning in the fireplace.

And in the bed, amongst the sheets more expensive than what even the church could afford to, was the most priceless treasure Dracula had ever owned. Or two the most priceless, now.

"Vlad..." Lisa smiled, golden locks dark with sweat as they stuck on her forehead. Dressed in deep purple nightgown after her ordeal, she looked exhausted beyond words and yet... She also had never looked more beautiful to the vampire. "Come to meet your son, my dear husband."

Dracula's unneeded breath hitched and crimson eyes widened. "S-son?"

Nodding before looking down at the bundle in her arms, Lisa smiled, cooing at the tiny being nestled in the cloth.

Hands shaking, Dracula slowly moved to the bed and by Lisa's prompting, sat at the edge, the mattress tilting under his weight. His wife smiled, positively radiating as she moved her precious cargo, gently pulling the fabric aside.

He was tiny, so tiny. Pudgy, round and somewhat flush, maybe not as much as a normal human baby would be but enough. As Lisa shifted him from one arm to another, the baby suddenly let out a cry worthy of a banshee, shrilling noise hurting Dracula's hearing. And when Lisa handed the tiny creature to him, Dracula took the child in his large hands, careful with his claws and held him. The baby frowned, crunching his little nose for being moved away from his mother's warmth, but when the vampire secured him in his arms, the newborn let out a huff before settling once again. Looking down at the tiny miracle in his arms, the dreaded Lord of the Vampires gently ran a clawed finger through little tuffs of platinum-blond hair.

He was perfect.

"Adrian."

"Hmm?" Lisa looked towards his husband, a smile growing in her face as she took in a sight of the immortal vampire cradling a newly-born baby in his arms.

"His name," Dracula said, brushing the back of his fingers across his son's cheek, earning a light giggle from the tiny thing.

"Adrian..." Lisa mused, straining to sit properly instead against the large pillows propped against the headboard. She leaned her head to rest against the vampire's shoulder. "It's a good name." 

Both parents sat quietly for a moment, just enjoying and basking in happiness, looking as their tiny son, their own little miracle shifted ever so often in his father's arms.

Dracula could not keep his smile down. 

Son. He had not only a child but a son. An heir.

He was ecstatic and could not wait to show little Adrian to his subjects. 

"Don't you dare."

"What?" The vampire blinked, turning to find his wife staring at him disapprovingly.

"You're planning to run through the castle with him, yelling 'I made this!' along the way. Don't."

"I most certainly am not!" Dracula huffed, offended.

"..." Lisa's eyebrow lifted as she regarded the vampire with _The Look._

"Just a little bit, love? Dearest? The brightest Moon of my night-sky? My golden star?"

"Oh my God, stop that!" Lisa flopped back down on the bed, hiding her face with hands. "Honestly, you have to be the mushiest vampire ever existed..."

"Is that a yes, my Queen of the Night?" Dracula put on his most charming smile, white fangs gleaming in the light.

"..."

"..."

Lisa sighed. "...Only to the Throne Room and back."

***

The Throne Room was filled with monsters chattering. Their Lord had been absent for greater part of the night and Death refused to give them any information. Some said that they had heard screaming from the Royal Wing and that maybe their Lady had finally snapped and made good with her lately threats by killing their Master. Others wondered that maybe the royals were just having some quality time together. After all, some human women could have weird cravings when expecting...

Suddenly, a vortex of darkness appeared before the throne and their Lord materialized. The Vampire Lord was grinning like someone had said that every church in the world had suddenly burned into the ground as he lifted his hands, holding aloft a tiny baby wrapped in cloth. "I made this!"

And with that, the vampire was gone again. Just... gone. One blink and he had disappeared.

The room was deadly quiet as monsters stared at the now empty spot their Lord had been. One of the skeletons quite well put into words what they all thought.

"The hell just happened?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, he did not run at least.
> 
> Have I ever mentioned how I love the concept of DorkDaddyDrac?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idea: make Adrian ask the famous question from the most unlikely individual.

"Uncle Death? Can I ask something?"

Not looking up from the scroll he was busy scribbling into, the Reaper hummed for a response, **"Certainly, My Prince."**

"Where do the babies come from?"

Quill tore through the parchment, ruining his work as young boys words registered in Death's mind. Shocked, the impersonification of natural process looked down at the dhampir sitting by the dark oaken table, several scrolls laid open before him. But young Adrian was not focused on his studies. Instead, golden eyes stared intensely at the skeleton floating in front of him, jaw dropped open.

**"I - uh- I'm quite sure that this is not included in our subject for tonight -"**

Adrian frowned. "So you don't know?"

Behind Death's back, Slogra dropped his long-beaked head down as the demon leaned against Gaibon's shoulder. Both demons were snorting and chuckling to their superior as they stood in guard.

Bastards.

Skeleton was sweating. Well, he would be if he was physically capable of it. **"Young Master, this - I believe that is something better explained by your parents..."** No way he was stepping into this one!

"But they are not here and I want to know," the young Prince crossed his arms. "You said yourself that it is good to learn about different things!"

**"Yes, I did but -"**

"So why can't you tell?"

Death sighed. **"Not everything is good to learn straightaway and frankly that kind of knowledge is NOT for people like you, young one."**

The young boy scowled, annoyed that he did not get his way. Being the apple of his parents' eyes and the son of a lord, he was bound to end up a little bit spoiled. Especially thanks to his father.

"Fine," Adrian finally jumped down from the chair. "I'll just find someone else who'll tell me."

**"Wait, young Master -!"**

But the boy had already shifted into a bat and flew away from the study.

**"Dammit!"**

"What the heck, boss?" Gaibon hollered. "Never seen you freeze up like that. It's like you've seen a ghost or something!"

 **"Quiet, you two!"** Death hissed, glaring at the demons. **"This is not funny!"**

"On the contrary; it's frigging' hilarious!" The long-necked demon said, leaning on his spear. "Prince asking about birds and bees from death itself! Ho boy, this is epic! Wait till Medusa hears about this -"

**"Enough!"**

"Geez, boss," Gaibon waved his wing. "What's gotten you so uptight? So Prince asks about babies, what's the big deal?"

 **" _'The big deal'_ is that Prince Adrian is merely six years old, far too young to know about that kind of things,"** Death snapped at his underlings. **"And do you wish to be one responsible for him learning about those? Especially when Master hears about it?"**

That shut the demons up as they realized that Death had a point: Lord Dracula was nothing if not super-protective about his son. There... might be heads rolling if he finds about that Adrian's been learning dirty things from his servants.

No, there would _definitely_ be heads rolling in that case. Along with several other body parts.

"Shit," Gaibon cursed.

 **"Indeed,"** Death sighed. **"And now we have an inquisitive young dhampir running around the castle. Filled with several creatures with loose morals and looser tongues. Time for damage control, you two."**

The two demons glanced at each other, perplexed before turning back to their superior, questioning looks on their faces.

Death face-palmed. **"That means; go after him and make sure that everyone keeps their mouths shut!!!"**

***

The succubus snickered before winking at the young dhampir, "Little Prince, it is never too early to learn about it! You see, firstly the man and woman take off their clothes -"

**"Liliana, _NO!_ "**

¤¤

The Medusa Heads simply floated around aimlessly so Adrian did not even bother asking them.

¤¤

"Babies?" Grimmane yawned and scratched himself with a back leg. "Right, cubs. Well, there are certain times in a year when females go into a heat and -"

Gaibon dove through the air, bodyslamming into the werewolf and crashing them both through the wall.

¤¤

"Come on, can't you tell?" Adrian pouted, looking up at the large dark creature hanging from the rafters.

Blood-red eyes blinked wordlessly before closing as the gigantic bat wrapped its wings around the body, drifting off into the sleep.

"You're not helpful at all."

¤¤

"Put me down!" The dhampir wailed, kicking his feet as Slogra swung him over his shoulder, already leaving the group of witches behind, giggling as they watched the demon carrying off their young Prince.

Slogra sighed. This was getting tiring...

***

"Is something wrong, Adrian?" Lisa asked as she stopped brushing her child's hair, noticing how quiet the boy was.

Relaxing in their private quarters, the royal family enjoyed their moments of serenity. Lisa was sitting on the sofa with her son, gently trying to sort out the platinum-blonde locks as Vlad sat by the desk, once in a while glancing at the two of his most beloved ones.

He and Lisa had just a few hours ago returned form their getaway. As much as they loved their son, every parent needed a breather and some time for themselves. And since Dracula had a castle full of servants to watch after their little hellion...

The child fiddled with his sleeve buttons before answering, "Death's been mean. Slogra and Gaibon, too."

That got the dark-haired head shot up from the papers he had been going through. Dracula frowned, "Mean? Adrian, what happened?"

The dhampir sniffed. "I just asked something and Death did not answer, just saying that it was not for people like me to know." Starting to hiccup, he continued. "A-and when I tried to a-ask someone else, their kept cutting in o-or pulling me away -!"

Lisa hushed her sobbing child, stroking his hair. "Hush there... Surely they did not mean it, sweetie. Death loves you, he would not be mean to you on purpose."

"Better not or the natural selection is about to face an abrupt halt," Dracula growled.

Looking at one another, the grown-ups silently agreed on something.

They had to have a chat with Death and his underlings.

***

So when Adrian was calmed down and asleep, a certain trio was summoned before the Vampire Lord.

As Death materialized in front the throne with his companions behind him, they instantly knew they were in deep trouble.

Dracula was _standing_. Not sitting on the throne, but standing. That was never a good sign. It usually meant that someone's going to end up eviscerated. Painfully and slowly.

And Lady Lisa was standing next to him, hands joined together and with a serious expression while the Lord himself was seething.

Literally seething. Wisps of dark power emitted from vampire's form.

"Death," Dracula's deep voice rumbled. "Slogra. Gaibon. I want answers. _NOW!_ "

The room shook at the last word, windows panels rattling as the two demons tried to hide behind their superior.

"We're going to _diiiiieeee_ -!" Slogra sobbed while Gaibon covered his face with his wings, "I never even found a cute female to breed with!"

 **"My Lord -"** Death began. **"I assure you that nothing ill has happened -"**

"Nothing?!" Dracula cut his most trusted servant off. "Then explain why my son, _your Prince_ , was just a moment ago distraught and sobbing because of you three?!"

 **"Master, he -"** Death was rarely afraid; for what was there to fear when you are one of the absolute truths in the life? But now... _Now_ he was terrified. **"Prince, he was asking - um - a difficult question... And I honestly did not think that it was mine, or any other castle dwellers, a place to answer him -"**

"So you not just deliberately refused to provide an answer for one meagre question posed by your future Lord but also sabotaged Adrian's efforts when he sought that from elsewhere?" Dracula snarled. "Disrespectful -!"

"Vlad, please calm yourself," Lisa stepped forward and placed her hand on vampire's arm.

Dracula huffed but restrained himself, although his red-hot glare never left the trio before them.

"Now," Lisa spoke, turning towards the skeleton and demons. "Could you please clarify something? What did Adrian ask that prompted you to take this course of action, Death?"

 **"My Lady -"** Death rasped. **"He - erm -"**

Dracula bared his fangs, "My patience is endi -"

"He asked where the babies come from!" Slogra suddenly shouted, cutting the vampire off.

You could hear the pin being dropped in the room due to the silence that followed.

Slogra covered his beak, shocked by his own outburst, Gaibon actually considered if he should begin to pray and Death wondered if the end would be as swift as the swing of his scythe or slow and painful.

The Vampire Lord blinked, his jaw open while Lisa just worded, "Oh."

"He what?" Dracula finally found his voice again.

 **"Like Slogra said, My Lord,"** Death sighed. **"Prince posed his question out of the blue and I made the decision not to indulge him. For it was not my place. And I ordered these two to tail him when he questioned other creatures in the castle."**

Dracula sighed, brushing a hand across his face, "I see..."

"Well, to be honest," Lisa began. "Your judgement was solid, Death. Adrian is a curious boy and while I know that he would learn much wisdom from people around the castle, there are some things that require a delicate approach." Her husband was nodding as Lisa spoke, clearly agreeing with her. "Which is why explaining those kinds of things belong to his father."

"Exactly right, love - _WHAT?!_ " Vampire's head spun to stare at the human.

"You're his father. It is your job, dearest," Lisa smiled at him.

"When did we agree to this?!"

"Honestly, the moment when I pushed Adrian into this world. I carried him for nine months, you can take this one."

"Butbutbut -!"

Lisa lifted her eyebrow, daring the vampire to argue with her.

The Lord of the Night cowed. "...Yes, love."

"Good," she said before addressing Death and two demons once more. "Thank you for looking after Adrian, Death. He can handful sometimes but I know that you have only his wellbeing in mind. My thanks to you too, Slogra and Gaibon."

 **"Thank you, My Lady"** , Death inclined his head respectively as his underlings bowed.

"Alright, then I guess we can all return to our endeavours," the human said and took her husband's clawed hand in her own. "You need to plan how to satisfy your son's curiosity, my dear husband."

Dracula grimaced. "Now?"

"Better have a battle plan before he wakes up."

As the couple was engulfed by the shadows, Death and demons got a last glimpse of their Lord burying his face with hands, groaning desperately. Soon they were left alone in the throne room. The silence did not last long however as Gaibon pounced on Slogra, both demons hugging each other and spinning around.

"We live! We live! We live! We live! We live!"

"Holy crap, we survived!"

Death sighed. That's it, he was doing something never ever done before. Going on a vacation. Far away from this madhouse.


End file.
